Dianoga Diaries
by Scribanto
Summary: The diary of the perhaps the best-known dianoga in the Star Wars universe. (In case you do not know, a dianoga is the creature living in the Death Star's trash compactor.)


**Day 3 (of my adult life).** I have decided to keep a diary. Why? Well, adulthood has been exciting already and some day, when I've given myself kids, I want them to know what my life was like. I wanted to start this on day one, but it turns out you're busy right after emerging from your larval form—finding food, looking for enemies, scoping out your habitat. Today is the first real break I have had.

So let me tell you about these digs. My home is a spacious metal box… for now; it will feel less roomy as I grow. The water is cold, dark, and fetid, as any self-respecting dianoga would want it. I have not seen anyone else here, but that's okay; I'm not looking for friends just now. There is a low rumbling, like the box itself is alive. That had me scared for the first couple of days, but it seems benign, so I'm not going to worry about it. This should be fun.

**Day 17.** You are _not_ going to believe what happened today! I will tell you, but you are _not_ going to believe it. Early in the morning I was awakened, as usual, by the rain of debris that brings stuff to eat, usually stuck to some container or another. The food, mostly spoiling meats and plants, is good, but I have to admit that the containers are starting to crowd the joint. I was thinking about just that when the loudest, most horrible screeching noise arose from two of my walls. And then—They. Started. To. Move! Toward each other. Toward me! I was sure to be squished flat. And at such a young age!

Thankfully, I calmed down and remembered that the walls had grooves that I'm small enough to hide in. In the end, though, even that wasn't necessary as they didn't come completely together. After squishing the containers, they stopped about 10 cm apart. But one of these days that gap is not going to be enough; I need to figure out what to do about that.

**Day 32.** I have a plan. Today I tried chewing on the wall. Yes, I know how funny that sounds, but it's not like I have a lot to work with here. I was giddy to see that my teeth are stronger than the metal as I left several deep grooves in the wall. So here's the plan: I'm going to chew a burrow in the stationary wall, just big enough for me to squeeze into when the other walls move, so that I won't get squished.

**Day 37.** They did it again: the walls compacted. When they were fully shut, I swam to a stationary wall and started chewing. I'm hoping that making my burrow there will limit how big the hole has to be since at least some of me can hang out.

**Day 115.** Success! The hole is big enough that I fit in it. Actually, it has been big enough for a few days, but I wanted to test it out before saying anything. It's a pretty snug fit, and most of my tentacles hang out, but my head and eye stalk are perfectly safe. And the timing is good as the 10 cm gap is starting to get pretty tight!

**Day 206.** A slight modification to the plan. It sounds silly to admit now, but I forgot that I grow. A burrow that fit perfectly a few months ago is now too small. That lesson cost me a nasty cut on my upper third tentacle today when the walls compacted. No permanent damage, but a bit embarrassing all the same. Today I started enlarging the barrow and I'll be happy as long as I keep it a little too big for me. Room to grow.

**Day 238**. Today was weird. And a little sad, but mostly weird. There I am, minding my own business, when the room starts buzzing. Not the low hum I noticed when I first hatched—to be honest I'd forgotten about that one until just now—and not compacting, but _buzzing_. It grew louder and louder then cut off all at once. A few seconds later, I was hit by a tremendous wave of sorrow, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I'm not sure what it means, but it has got me thinking about my own mortality and offspring.

**Day 239.** Yesterday was weird? Wait until you hear about today! Again, minding my own business when I hear an—electric "ping" is the best description I can think of—and _splash!_ something lands in my water. That alone is really odd as food had already come today, but it's just the beginning. This one was alive! Imagine that, a fresh meal! And then, in rapid succession, three more splashes, _all_ alive. Two were covered in some kind of plate, one in flimsy cloth, and one in thick hair. I figured that something covered in plate is going to be softer on the inside than something that isn't, so I decided to go for the smaller plated one. Getting to it was easy—they didn't even see my looking around. Getting it under water was just as easy—it was a puny little thing.

But luck was not with me today. I had no sooner started to chew on its plate than the compactor started up. Now I know what you're thinking—that's a good thing because it'll squish them all and I won't have to work at it—and I was thinking it too. But for the first time in my life, the walls stopped moving before they were fully closed. And this just after my lunches had all started screaming. Even worse, after they calmed down, they opened a door in the stationary wall (who knew there was a door there?!) and left. Final score: Them 4, Me 0.

**Day 241.** New plan. I'm going to become a parent. Not right now, but soon. Like any good parent, I want my offspring to have a better life than I did, which is pretty hard to pull off given how awesome my life is. But there _is_ one thing I can give them: a burrow. So what I'm going to do is chew a second burrow in my wall, then once it's big enough, I'll reproduce. That will be one less thing for them to worry about early in adulthood. And who knows: maybe if we get more live lunches dropping in, some of the kids can stow away on them and find entirely new homes, assuming any future drop-in lunches also escape.

**Day 246.** Normally I talk about my day after it's over, but this one started out crazy enough that I want to talk about it as it's happening. Mostly it has been noisy—lots of alarms and klaxons and shouting outside my newly-discovered door. I thought that with all this carrying on I might get another drop-in, but no luck yet. Things get quiet for a while and then the noise starts all over.

And there it goes, getting loud yet again.

Oh! Oh no! The odd buzzing from a few days ago is starting up again. I really hope it isn't followed by another wave of sorrow this time. The buzzing is getting louder… louder… lou—


End file.
